I think about war.Today, yesterday, tomorrow.Every day until I am finally murdered by a government somewhere, most likely my own.Unwillingly, I dwell upon it.Of how my disability and frailties are framed as a conflict between myself and my body.When I am being killed slowly, every single day, and the only thing my body does, is… Continue reading
First off, abolish the military and the police.
I’m sat in my room, in Taiwan, in what should be one of the coldest months of the year, wearing nothing more than a thin long-sleeve tee and a maxi dress. Granted, Taiwan is classed as a sub-tropical island, but generally speaking, it still got cold in winter. According to a government website, summer has… Continue reading
Word of the year for 2024: Joy
Word of the year: joy It feels audacious to say it aloud.I’ve chosen “joy” for 2024.Audacious and more than a bit of “have you just woken? Have you not been reading the room?”.But that’s precisely it, isn’t it?Twitter. Palestine. Ukraine. The CCP. Climate change. Famine. Extreme weather.I could’ve chosen “ease” or “release” or “forgiveness (for… Continue reading
Sentinel Academy
Sentinel Academy is officially finished today, 11-22-2023, at 28818 words.I like the numbers, so I’m noting them. It might be about all I enjoy about this story for quite a while, so I might as well luxuriate in what I can. Elyuana’s story is, was, will be difficult. But it’s fine. They say every ten… Continue reading
To name a star
Best beloved pointed out the question about whether AGAB language is useful or not and I had to stop and really think about it.Some might notice I’ve changed phrasing elsewhere, in addition to the correction, to the clunkier “as a person seen and considered to be a little girl”.Clunky, and some might think, unnecessary.After all,… Continue reading
Compromise, sacrifice, and where is the line?
When my relationship of near eleven years fragmented (ostensibly) because I was chronically ill, rapidly moving on disabled, I was incredibly angry. So incredibly angry. Incandescent, really. But I didn’t know it at the time. I didn’t realize it until fairly recently, until all that suppressed rage came spilling forth from somewhere I never knew… Continue reading
The (un)kindness of strangers
I was at the shopping centre yesterday, and the shop’s assistant kept calling me 姐姐 (older sister). Except~ at the end, after I paid, when suddenly she switched to 妹妹 （younger sister). No idea what that was about, but I didn’t like. And aside from Eldest Daughter trauma and the general meh of “don’t try… Continue reading
Two golden rings
I lost a gold earring today. Or rather, I’d lost it a while ago and only today, after searching everywhere it could possibly be, I resigned myself to admitting it was gone. The loss is devastating. Not just because it was a hundred and twenty-five or so USD of 24k gold. Not just because I’d… Continue reading
Why I invite you grocery shopping if I love you
Emotions haunt spaces. I knew that. Intimately, because I’ve been living in a fraught house for so long. So I’m not sure why I didn’t pick up earlier that I’ve been avoiding my blog because of the reverberations of my last post. Therefore. Let’s clear the air with a happier clarifying: why I love going… Continue reading
The peanut incident
My paternal grandmother kidnapped me when I was one or so and I nearly died as a result.There, that’s the main content note. That’s the lede.As with many stories in our family, and I suspect in other families where abuse was rampant, a lot of trauma was obscured behind a combination of amnesia, forced reconciliation,… Continue reading