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Wedding weeping or angry wedding or?

What’s interesting is that apparently some cultures in China had a tradition where the bride-to-be would spend the days before her marriage crying, sobbing out her sorrow at leaving her maiden home and howling out her anger at the matchmaker.

Another tradition, much less practiced to be sure, involved the bride screaming imprecations at the groom and his family on the day of the wedding.

Supposedly, this was so she could get all of her feels out of the way before she married into another family where presumably she would have much less freedom and would be at the very lowest rung on the social ladder. Even the unmarried daughters of the family would, by virtue of being blood, often have slightly more social status than she would.

There’s is a Chinese saying “媳妇熬成婆”, which means the daughter-in-law has undergone a trial by fire to become the mother-in-law. That 熬 means to cook for a long time over a slow fire. Thus can you imagine the sort of prospect a new bride had to look forward to.

So I suppose it makes sense for her to get it all out before she marries. Hopefully once she’s worked herself into emotional exhaustion, she could manage whatever her new family threw at her with more equanimity.


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